We talk about forgiveness a lot. All of us want to be forgiven when we sin or mess up. But often we are not willing to extend forgiveness to those who have hurt us.
We tend to toss out little barbs or talk about how bad “they” are behind their backs. We want revenge and we want to be justified right now.
Quite often the other person is not even aware that they have done or said something that wounded us.
That is because either it was unintentional or nothing actually happened, but due to our own woundedness, we “took it wrong”. Sometimes the hurt is very real. Either way we still are commanded to forgive.
The Bible and Jesus are clear. There is no leeway, no extenuating circumstances offered.
Plain and simple, Jesus said and we all pray it in what is known as the Lord’s Prayer. “Forgive us our trespasses AS we forgive others.
That tiny little word “as” is a powerhouse of a concept. It means…while, in the same manner as etc. So each time we pray, Forgive us our trespasses AS we forgive others”, we could be condemning ourselves. Especially if we are choosing to hold unforgiveness.
We come up with all sorts of excuses…”Well you don’t understand how bad it hurt.”
“ You can’t imagine how hard it is to forgive.”
“ But they were really mean and they have been mean for a long time and they are still DOING it.”
Sound familiar?
None of those are valid excuses. Remember Jesus? Up on the cross? Dying a painful death? Being tortured and mocked and ridiculed? Over and over, even as he died?
Do you remember what he said in Luke 23? He said, “Father forgive them, for they know not what they do.”
Want to see some context? The entire chapter is excellent about how people betrayed him. Before that his own beloved disciples turned from him.
Luke 23:33-33 And when they came to the place that is called The Skull, there they crucified him, and the criminals, one on his right and one on his left.
34 And Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.” And they cast lots to divide his garments.
35 And the people stood by, watching, but the rulers scoffed at him, saying, “He saved others; let him save himself, if he is the Christ of God, his Chosen One!”
36 The soldiers also mocked him, coming up and offering him sour wine 37 and saying, “If you are the King of the Jews, save yourself!” 38 There was also an inscription over him, “This is the King of the Jews.”
See? They had betrayed him, reviled him, falsely condemned him, beat him and now he was on the cross and He forgave them, He even asked God, His and Our Father to forgive them. And even after that, they kept right on mocking Him.
Therefore is it possible to forgive those who hurt us?
I believe it is not only possible but a command.
Even secular sources agree that forgiveness sets us free. Let’s see how Wikipedia describes forgiveness.
“ Forgiveness is the intentional and voluntary process by which a victim undergoes a change in feelings and attitude regarding an offense, and overcomes negative emotions such as resentment and vengeance.”
Notice: Intentional and voluntary. Also notice it leads to a change in US….
a process by which a victim undergoes a change in feelings and attitude regarding an offense, and overcomes negative emotions such as resentment and vengeance.
Isn’t that grand? Even “the worldly people” know that forgiveness is good for us
But for us it goes even deeper.
It is a choice to OBEY God or DISOBEY God. While God will continue to love us, disobedience always has consequences.
Once, I have shared this before, a friend told me that choosing not to obey a command of God was not only disobedience but it was rebellion.
And then she pointed out that to God, rebellion is as the sin of witchcraft. (There’s that little “as” word).
I scoffed at her but Holy Spirit would not leave me alone.
So I looked up “rebellion/witchcraft”. Uh-oh.
1 Samuel 15:33a KJV For rebellion is as the sin of witchcraft, and stubbornness is as iniquity and idolatry.
Witchcraft is serious evil. Rebellion or choosing not to obey God, going against the nature and character of God is as…the same as…has the same consequences as witchcraft.
Nasty, isn’t it? Convicting too I dare say.
And a lesser thing…being stubborn ( I will do what I want, when I want, if I want, you can’t tell me what to do) is iniquity and idolatry.
Yikes.
So what do you think?
Do we need to forgive?
Even if it feels impossible?
Do we really have any viable options other than to obey and forgive?
In Matthew 6:9-15 it says: Pray then like this:
“Our Father in heaven,
hallowed be your name.
Your kingdom come,
your will be done,
on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread,[c]
and forgive us our debts,
as we also have forgiven our debtors.
And lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from evil.
Then the absolute kicker-convictor:
For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.
That is heavy duty clear direction.
You think Jesus was/is serious about forgiveness?
Do you think we can choose to hold a grudge?
Another consequence which has come up a lot recently in various Bible studies here….and we do not plan them together btw, is about another consequence of unforgiveness.
It is a bitter root. Bitter roots defile. Bitter roots grow and flourish in a climate of unforgiveness or grudge holding.
Hebrews 12:15 says…15 See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no “root of bitterness” springs up and causes trouble, and by it many become defiled;
Do you want to be defiled?
Do you want to cause defilement in others?
I don’t. Therefore we must choose forgiveness.
From an article:
Forgiveness doesn't necessarily mean that the person is not guilty of whatever they did to upset us.
Forgiveness doesn't mean forgetting.
Rather, forgiveness means letting go of the pain the incident is causing us.
We forgive to give ourselves peace of mind, and in hopes that one day someone will return the favor if we ever offend them.
So whether a family member starts an argument, a child throws a fit, or a friend isn't there during a time of need, the Bible helps us to see the importance of forgiveness for transgressions small and large.
Rely on these passages whenever you need a reminder that holding a grudge doesn't serve anyone, least of all ourselves.
Numbers 14:18
"The LORD is slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love, forgiving iniquity and transgression, but he will by no means clear the guilty."
The Good News: God will handle those who have wronged us, for He does not let the guilty go unpunished.
Dodi Note: It is the NATURE and CHARACTER of God to be SLOW to anger, abounding in love, and to forgive.
Numbers 15:28
"And the priest shall make atonement before the LORD for the person who makes a mistake, when he sins unintentionally, to make atonement for him, and he shall be forgiven."
The Good News: Old Testament priests were also responsible for obtaining forgiveness for us from God, especially for accidental mistakes.
Dodi Note: But now, that mantle is transferred directly to us.
Luke 6:37
"Judge not, and you will not be judged; condemn not, and you will not be condemned; forgive, and you will be forgiven."
The Good News: If we are mindful of our own behavior, we will reap the benefits.
Dodi Note: If we forgive…then we are forgiven. And once we really realize how very forgiving God has been and is of our own sin/infractions, then it becomes more natural. Living a lifestyle of forgiveness can become part of who we are. After all, we were created in the Image of God and we ARE continually being renewed and transformed.
Luke 17:4
"If he sins against you seven times in the day, and turns to you seven times, saying, 'repent,' you must forgive him."
The Good News: There is no maximum amount of forgiveness we can bestow.
Dodi Note: Does God limit the number of times he forgives us? We would probaby all be struck dead on a regular basis if He didn’t. Can we do any less?
1 John 1:9
"If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness."
The Good News: We must admit our own mistakes in order to be forgiven.
Dodi Note: Once we have come into regeneration/salvation we are forgiven. There is no way we will be “unsaved” if we sin and don’t recognize it or ask forgiveness.
I for one, find a daily prayer such as the one in Psalm 139:23-24 "Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts: And see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.” A good practice. Celebrate Recovery also suggests that on a regular basis.
If we invited God to show us our sin choices, we might have a lot less time to dwell on those of others.
Psalm 86:5
"For you, O Lord, are good and forgiving, abounding in steadfast love to all who call upon you."
The Good News: God is just waiting for us to ask for His help, and He will be there with love and forgiveness.
Dodi Note: God ABOUNDS in STEADFAST love and is good and forgiving. Sometimes, we choose to turn our back on Him but He is still steadfast in His love for us. Which includes ongoing forgiveness.
2 Corinthians 2:5-8, 10
"Now if anyone has caused pain, he has caused it not to me, but in some measure — not to put it too severely — to all of you. For such a one, this punishment by the majority is enough, so you should rather turn to forgive and comfort him, or he may be overwhelmed by excessive sorrow. So I beg you to reaffirm your love for him … Anyone whom you forgive, I also forgive."
The Good News: To forgive is an act of kindness that helps other people heal in God's light as well.
Dodi Note: This passage could be pondered for days…when we hurt another…we hurt the body…we also hurt ourselves and often when we first realize the magnitude of the “deceiful wicked ways” in our OWN heart, we can be distraught.
Mark 11:25
"And whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father also who is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses."
The Good News: When we pray, if we forgive those who have wronged us, we will be forgiven for any of the times we may have wronged others.
Dodi Note: The Litergical churches are reminded of this on a sort of regular basis. We sometimes, right in church are offered the chance to “make it right” before communion.
Ephesians 4:32
"Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you."
The Good News: Don't forget that we receive forgiveness, and, in turn, should be kind and forgiving to those around us.
Dodi Note: Remember….sometimes setting a boundary is kind because allowing another person to abuse you is really doing them no favors. It can keep them from recognizing their need for God’s forgiveness, cleansing and healing.
Colossians 3:13
"The Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive."
The Good News: The ultimate lesson here in the Bible is that we forgive because God forgives. If He can do it, so can any of us.