When You Are Grieving Trust God

[shalom-dodi]

Song: Give Thanks https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KMTmZKotTYw
With A Thankful Heart https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mLMbRbFCLcw
Broken Vessels https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fiyYoe678yI


Prayer: Lord God, Our Abba Father and our Savior we come to you tonight just as we are. Tired, energized, happy or sad, feeling great or not so great and we KNOW we are welcomed just as we are. Thank you for your love for us and thank you for each other. Father bless each one and help us to listen with both our understanding and our hearts. We bless you Lord and thank you that your Word stands true now and forever. You know what each and every one of us most needs. In Jesus name amen

We have been delving into the Book of James. We spend several weeks thinking about what “love your neighbor as yourself” really implies.

That included understanding how much God loves each of us individually and then affirming God’s love by loving ourselves. We can only love others as ourselves (in the same manner as and while) to the extent that we do love ourselves. Loving ourselves is not a selfish or self centered act. It is simply learning to BELIEVE and accept what God has said about us. We ARE the Beloved of God. Right?

Tonight we are going to deviate from James and consider the holiday coming up in the USA. I know some of you may celebrate it at a different time and there could be countries who do not set aside a national day for giving thanks but Thanksgiving, the giving of thanks is actully a Biblical mandate for ALL of us.

It is also not regulated to just one day a year. The Bible verse I am thinking of is found in 1 Thessalonians 5:18 (NIV) “Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. But we see the concept in other verses as well.
Psalm 107:1 (NIV) -“Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good; his love endures forever.”
Colossians 4:2 (NIV) – “Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful.”
Colossians 3:15 (NIV) – “Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful.”
Psalm 69:30 (NIV) –“I will praise God’s name in song and glorify him with thanksgiving.”

Sometimes for some of us, well probably for all of us, it is difficult to be and feel and act with Thankfullness all the time. Agree? Disagree?

The 1 Thessalonians verse is often misunderstood. It does not say give thanks to God FOR all things. Does it? No! It says, “Give thanks IN all things”.

Once I really understood that, God gave me a level of peace I had never know before.

Peace, Shalom, is not dependent on circumstances of life at all. Peace and hope, which I believe are linked, are found in knowing that no matter what is going on, no matter what the future holds, no matter what has happened in the past, God is “I AM” and Emmanuel. To me that means God is ALL we need, past-present-future and he is also always with us. The scripture says so in many places and ways.

Deuteronomy 31:8 It is the Lord who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not leave you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed.”

Joshua 1:5
No man shall be able to stand before you all the days of your life. Just as I was with Moses, so I will be with you. I will not leave you or forsake you.

Hebrews 13:6 So we can confidently say, “The Lord is my helper; I will not fear; what can man do to me?”

Psalm 91:14 For the Lord will not forsake his people; he will not abandon his heritage;

Isaiah 41:10 Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

Matthew 28:20 Teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.”

1 Peter 5:7 Casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.

Philippians 4:6-7 Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Romans 8:28 And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.

1 John 4:16 So we have come to know and to believe the love that God has for us. God is love, and whoever abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him.

There are many many more.
The point is that God really will be with us. He really will sustain us because he really really does love us.
Therefore we thank God, even during the saddest, scariest, most lonely times because He IS with us. Maybe you can look back on a dark time or season and think of how God helped you. If anyone wants to share just type ! and I will pause.

You may be entering the holiday season with a whole lot of childlike wonder.
That is how we are supposed to somehow be able to live life.
Remember Jesus instructed us to be “like” a child? Matthew 182-4 :2 He called a little child to him, and placed the child among them. 3 And he said: “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. 4 Therefore, whoever takes the lowly position of this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.

Childlike though not childish. Think of a small child you know or remember. Something sad happens, or they are hurt. What do they do? They cry, even weep.

However the very next moment, they see a cookie, or a cute dog or even an interesting piece of trash and their focus changes. They know how to live life to the fullest. They do not deny the sad, but they do not usually remain stuck there.

For some of us the holidays trigger sorrow, even dread. We wish they were over already. Tonight we are going to ponder ways to handle grief. You may not have any grief or sorrow, but if you don’t it is likely some of “neighbors” we are supposed to love do.

I have pulled from several sources which I will acknowledge as we go along. The first one drew my heart because it reminded me of James and loving our neighbor and treating all people rich or poor, happy or sad with the same honor.

The author said:
The non-neighbor looks at the wounded and bereaved, and crosses the street (Luke 10:29–37). He may reason to himself that he cannot identify with what it is like to be robbed and beaten, and besides, he is no professional doctor. He may even tell himself he is doing the man a favor by leaving him to the care of a more competent passerby.

Jesus calls more than the trained counselors to show compassion. And as we learn, that compassion might be costly (Luke 10:34–35).

But as a recipient of God’s grace, we are all called, and equipped, to steward the comfort that we have received (2 Corinthians 1:3–7).

Dodi Note: I wanted to pull this next passage because it is one that is very meaningful to me and a good application passage for us all.
God of All Comfort
 Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.  For as we share abundantly in Christ’s sufferings, so through Christ we share abundantly in comfort too. If we are afflicted, it is for your comfort and salvation; and if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which you experience when you patiently endure the same sufferings that we suffer.  Our hope for you is unshaken, for we know that as you share in our sufferings, you will also share in our comfort.
Dodi Note: One outcome of our suffering is that down the road we will be able to help another in similar pain.

The pastor should meet with his injured sheep, but so should the other sheep (Ephesians 4:11–12). Verse says: And he gave the apostles, the prophets, the evangelists, the shepherds and teachers, to equip the saints for the work of ministry, for building up the body of Christ… Key concept here, our pastors are to equip us for ministry because WE ARE the Body of Christ. Yes, you and me.

You may not know the perfect verse to share, but you have the Author of the verses dwelling in you. Do not look away, or send away the bereft with mere words to be warmed and filled (James 2:16).

Dodi Note: Isn’t that GRAND advice? Did you notice our beloved James being quoted? If you are grieving this season wouldn’t it be lovely to have others to listen and not abandon you?

Of course Jesus does always remain with us and present to us, but sometimes people with skin on are quite lovely too.

Or perhaps you can be that one who remains present to another.

In my life, I am so very blessed to be part of a community (small group) where we flip in and out of roles as the Spirit leads. I can say I am sad if I am and not be judged.

At the same time, another time, I can be the one who “loves, listens, and prays”.
And every single person here can do the same for another.
Perhaps you will be the one to model that this year for someone who is your “neighbor” or even begin a small caring community.
Even today, as my brother got news of another brain tumor, I was one who listened to him and cried with him and prayed for him. Others of my Christian sisters then listened to me and we brought my brother before the Lord.
Honestly I do not know how I would do it without my friends.

https://www.desiringgod.org/articles/a- ... understood

From another source:
He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. – Psalm 147:3
This time of year reminds us that grief does not take a vacation. The heaviness associated with loss seems to permeate every special occasion, especially major holidays.

Dodi Note: All of us might be missing someone or something. Parents die. Children grow up. Friends move. Our health declines. Finances can be an issue. And on and on the list could go.

How do we reconcile our faith, our hope, our emotional healing in the space of deepest despair?
How do we celebrate when our hearts are broken and overcome with loss?

Grief slows us down.
Loss can stop us in our tracks.
Significant loss has a way of transforming our lives.

Thankfully, God is the Father of transformation. Even in seasons of despair, He seeks to comfort and provide for us.
God is constantly proving His faithfulness to us, grief is no exception. If you are in a season of loss, please open your bruised heart to the one who created it. The maker of our hearts can gently place us on a journey to healing.

Our job is to simply allow Him.

During a season of deep grief, I (this author, not Dodi) developed an acronym to easily focus my heart and soul. This tool adheres to what experts say, with a spiritual focus: R.E.S.T.  which stands for (R)ely on God, (E)xalt His Name, (S)elf Care, and (T)alk about it.
Dodi Note: This caught my attention. At the end I will share a Word God spoke to me last week during a time of worship at church. REST….

Rest allows God to enter your space of brokenness. His presence has the biggest impact when He enters into space that is quiet and unencumbered with activity.

Wholeness develops when we align our hearts with God.  I, like you, have experienced significant loss.
Loss has different impacts, depending on the season you are in. In all seasons, I have found it comforting to seek and find tools that lead me to the gift of God’s presence.
Dodi Note: Aligning our hearts and minds with God’s Truth and Presence is such a key to living an abundant life.

If you find yourself feeling gloomy this holiday season, don’t be defeated. You can get through this.
Here are 4 Things you should do to survive grief and loss during the holidays…
Rely on God- 
The definition of rely is: depend on with full confidence. Rely on God’s gentleness. Rely on His strength. Rely on His faithfulness.
Proverbs 18:10 The Name of the Lord is a strong tower; the righteous run to it and are safe.
When you are fearful, sad, angry, remember that God is your protector. He understands loss. He grieved His only Son. God gifts us His peace.

Exalt His Name- 
Praise allows a heart to be set free from captivity. God promises comfort, even in the midst of suffering.
2 Corinthians 1:7 And our hope, O God, for you is firm. Because we know that just as your share in our sufferings, so also you share in our comfort.

Praising God, in spite of circumstance, is the highest form of worship. Praise can be in private prayer, between sweet friends, or in a Sunday morning worship service. Exalt Him.
Remind yourself of His attributes. God’s characteristics are unique gifts to each of us. Seek Him.

Self Care- 
Loss can deplete us. Our spiritual health can be directly affected by our physical health.
3 John 1:2 Beloved, I pray that in all respects you may prosper and be in good health, just as your soul prospers.
Eat healthy. Sleep. See your physician for regular checkups. Repeat. God has gifted His spirit to our earthly bodies. Self-care is important.

Talk about it- 
Talk to your closest friends, family, or a counselor, pastor or even one another here at the 4G.

Talk about your grief. Please know it is normal to cry.
A powerful scripture is tucked away in the book of John. The most powerful man that every walked our earth demonstrated healthy grief at the loss of a loved one.
Jesus wept. Weeping empties our soul of pain.

Scripture speaks of how crying gives way to joy.
Psalm 30:5 Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning.
God promises the gift of joy, even after loss.

Scripture teaches that God never intended us to be eternal creatures in this broken world.
Loss can take on a different meaning when we view it from God’s perspective. His plans for us are greater.
On this side of eternity, we all will experience loss. Living through loss creates sensitivity to all suffering. Loss develops our compassion for others experiencing pain.

God continually provides His presence for us in our times of need. He uses His people to walk out His presence.
God continually reminds us that we are not alone in times of pain. He restores our souls. After all is said and done, God remains.   
https://theprayingwoman.com/4-ways-to-c ... olidays/5/

Are you finding this helpful? I was having a bit of a challenge this year by some circumstances in my family that have led to a different sort of Thanksgiving Day. I know to seek the Word and that is why instead of continuing in James this week we are taking a little side trip.
Let me pause and read you what I wrote at church that day. It begins with an invitation.
Weary?
Beaten down by life?
Rest in the release,
I have for you,
This night.

Healing of hearts
Hope and restoration
As we rest in Him
Peace in the midst
Of unrestful-restless circumstances
Which in themselves are not peaceful at all
And yet in Him there is Peace
That passes understanding/comprehension.



Another author reminds us:
Grief Is Real and Right

First, don’t add to your burden by thinking grief is foreign to the heart of God’s children. They know this, but it might be good to hear it. First Thessalonians 4:13 says, “We do not want you to be uninformed, brothers, about those who are asleep” — that is, this brother-in-law who died — “that you may not grieve as others do who have no hope.”

He doesn’t say that you may not grieve, but that you may not grieve as others do who have no hope. Christian grieving is real and it is right. Let that not be an added burden that they are walking through a season of real, painful grief.

Second, eat the fruit of sorrow, even if it is bitter. This fruit, that you can only eat now, has nutrients in it that you can’t get any other way. I know this is may be a little hard to hear, but this is so real and so needed.
“God does not leave his children in the depths of sorrow. Joy comes eventually, and it comes in God’s timing.”

Martin Luther said that God teaches us deep things about himself. Then he used two Latin words: not only by oratio, which means prayer, but meditatio, which means meditation, on the Scriptures.

But also — this was his discovery — God teaches us deep things about himself also by tentatio, which is translated trial, testing, affliction. And the texts that he cited were Psalm 119:67, which says, “Before I was afflicted I went astray, but now I keep your word,” and Psalm 119:71, which says, “It is good for me that I was afflicted, that I might learn your statutes.”

There are nutrients that we draw out of seasons of suffering that are strengthening to the bones of our faith and sweetening to the marrow of our faith like we can’t get any other way. Eat them. Go ahead and eat them. As long as God keeps you in that season, don’t waste it by wishing and wishing, wishing you’d be out of it. Go ahead and eat the fruit that grows on that tree alone.

Near the Brokenhearted
Third, savor the special promised nearness of the Lord. Psalm 34:18 says, “The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.” There is a unique and special promised nearness that you will enjoy. Yes, that is a tearful, painful, true word you will enjoy that you will not have once the sun comes out again.
I know it. I’ve walked through this. Two or three major, major losses in my life, and I wouldn’t trade them for anything if I just focus on the sweetness of how God drew near.

God Heals Wounds
Fourth, believe that he will heal the wounds of loss. You can call them an amputation without desecrating the preciousness of the memory. I think sometimes we’re so afraid that if this gets healed too quickly, it’s going to be dishonoring to my lost loved one because I’ll just be going about my business like usual. It’ll look like he doesn’t matter.

I think we all feel that, and yet Psalm 147:3 says, “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” You don’t need to rush it. When it comes, it won’t be in any way a diminishing of the preciousness of the one who was taken.

Joy Will Come
Fifth, wait. Wait for God’s timing of healing and restoration. Psalm 30:5 says, “His anger is but for a moment, and his favor is for a lifetime. Weeping may tarry for the night, but joy comes with the morning.”
I don’t think the point of that is about the clock, like sadness at dusk, joy at dawn every day. That’s not the point of that statement. The point is God does not leave his children indefinitely in the depths of sorrow. Joy comes eventually when dawn comes, and it comes in God’s timing. The older you get, the more you know that terrible things don’t have the same horrible gut punch as time goes by.
“We draw nutrients from suffering that strengthen the bones of our faith that we can’t get any other way.”

In the moment of loss, when you get that phone call, that utter disappointment, that painful email, a dream is shattered, a massive disappointment, something you thought would never happen — and you feel in those first hours, “There’s no way I can live with this. There’s no way I can live with this.”
God’s timing is very mysterious in its effects because the next day it’s a little different, and the next day it’s a little different. A week later it’s a little different. Everybody moves at different paces, but God uses time and grace to take away the sense of impossibility of life.
Psalm 40:1–3 states, “I waited patiently for the Lord; he inclined to me and heard my cry. He drew me up from the pit of destruction, out of the miry bog, and set my feet upon a rock, making my steps secure. He put a new song in my mouth, a song of praise to our God. Many will see and fear, and put their trust in the Lord.”
How long did David wait in the pit? I don’t know, but he waited, he waited. That’s what I’m calling for. I pray that this grieving, unnamed couple will be brought out into the light of hope and joy in due time, not in any glib way that minimizes the loss, but with all the deep work in their hearts that God is doing for their good and, no doubt, through them, for the good of others.

https://www.desiringgod.org/interviews/ ... -nutrients