REJECTION
Rejection is something we all face in life. How we react and what we do with the emotion is the key to whether we live in it or seek out freedom. It is often the seductress that drives us into shame, guilt, depression, anger, isolation, judgments, unforgiveness, bitterness, resentment, rebellion, stubbornness, independence, pride, eating disorders. Sexual sins and even suicide.
4 AREAS OF REJECTION
Rejection of others
The strongest example of being rejected by others is Jesus and the rejection he received including by Peter.
Matthew 26:69-75 Now Peter was sitting out in the courtyard, and a servant girl came to him. “You also were with Jesus of Galilee,” she said. But he denied it before them all. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he said. Then he went out to the gateway, where another servant girl saw him and said to the people there, “This fellow was with Jesus of Nazareth.” He denied it again, with an oath: “I don’t know the man!” After a little while those standing there went up to Peter and said, “Surely you are one of them; your accent gives you away.” Then he began to call down curses and he swore to them, “I don’t know the man!” Immediately a rooster crowed. Then Peter remembered the word Jesus has spoken: “Before the rooster crows, you will disown me three times. “And he sent outside and wept bitterly.
The doors we open are blame and finding fault.
Self-Rejection
Self-rejection usually starts when we are shamed. We often are in such of approval, yet when we receive it, we show a false humility. It starts us on a path to denial and lies which in turn often turns into developing compulsive behaviors, being a perfectionist. Later turns into anger, self-mutilation, and even suicide.
1Corinthians 12:27 Now you are the body of Christ and individually members of it.
Fear of Rejection
Genesis 3:8 And they heard the sound of the LORD God walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and the man and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the LORD God among the trees of the garden.
Adam and Eve knew they had not obeyed God’s command, and the fear that set in. one of the deepest levels of fear is the fear of being rejected.
Rejecting God
How often do we reject God in a day? Our daily sins, blaming Him for things that happened to us, how people treat us, the injustice we’ve experiences in life, his daily direction to help us grow in Christ.
Every time we reject God, we reject the opportunity for a deeper intimacy with Him, thus we slow down the process of renewing our minds and lining ourselves up with Christ.
Examples of words that can be set in motion to negative effects on our life.
• I will always be poor
• I will always be sick
• Nobody will ever marry me
• I will never be like my mom or dad
• I will never be an alcoholic like…
• I will never get angry
• I will always be in control
• I will never get a divorce
• I will never love again
• I will never forgive them
We take God out of the equation when we follow the above negative sayings.
We need to understand when we make statements like “I’ll never or I always”, we may be making a judgment, a sin that lodges in our minds, and renewal is difficult until we confess and take responsibility for ourselves.
Spouses, teachers, bosses, and Pastors.
With the renewal of the mind it is possible to:
• Make current, and adult choices in each situation
• Have appropriate trust in relationships
• Realize the appropriate intimacy in relationships
• Have appropriate anger and confrontation
• See and know the truth
• Be able to reconcile with freedom
• Ask God or others for__________ (advice, help, love, etc.)
• Be a part of a community
• Justice, fairness (appearance or illusion or feelings)
• Be stronger, more secure with our values and worth in Him along
• Safety
• Have a closer relationship with family and friends
• Have a closer relationship with God
• Be heard
WITHOUT A RENEWED MIND
There are Situational Words We Speak
When we ignore or overstep boundaries that are set by God, we reap what we sow, and the renewal of the mind is delayed because we did not think before we spoke. We are giving legal ground to the enemy and he takes advantage of fogging our thinking, and our minds with confusion and fear.
Jude 1:8-10a Yet in like manner these people also, relying on their dreams, defile the flesh, reject authority, and blaspheme the glorious ones. But when the archangel Michael, contending with the devil, was disputing about the body of Moses, he did not presume to pronounce a blasphemous judgment, but said, “The Lord rebuke you.” But these people blaspheme all that they do not understand,
Deliberate Words
These are the words that deliberately we speak over ourselves and others. The words themselves have not authority to harm anyone, but the spiritual power behind the words enables them to be fulfilling.
Non-deliberate Words
These are words that are loosed in temper, high emotion, and in fear. They will stick in the mind, and emotions of the person that it was spoken to, holding them as a victim of the spoken words.
The Whole Armor of God
Ephesians 6:10-20 10 Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of his might. 11Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil. 12 For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places. 13 Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand firm. 14 Stand therefore, having fastened on the belt of truth, and having put on the breastplate of righteousness, 15 and, as shoes for your feet, having put on the readiness given by the gospel of peace. 16 In all circumstances take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming darts of the evil one; 17 and take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God, 18 praying at all times in the Spirit, with all prayer and supplication. To that end, keep alert with all perseverance, making supplication for all the saints, 19 and also for me, that words may be given to me in opening my mouth boldly to proclaim the mystery of the gospel, 20 for which I am an ambassador in chains, that I may declare it boldly, as I ought to speak.
Shame
Our same buttons can be controlled by others by the words that they speak to us or by what we say and do ourselves. There are triggers and those triggers can become toxic if they are not dealt with.
There are nine causes of shame: improper parenting, older men and women who have never married, men who are not mechanically inclined, sibling rivalry, lack of affirmation, ministry of condemnation, racial shame, embarrassing events, and abortion.
The characteristics of shame are compulsions, anger, performance control lost identity, shaming techniques, negative focus, suicide, eating disorders, comparisons, confusion, self-pity, fear of relationships, and lack of boundaries just to name some.
OUR NEEDS
We want to be loved unconditionally, to be valued, to feel like we have some power or control in our lives. We want to be acknowledged, to feel like we are being heard, and to feel important. We want to feel that we are protected by others and to feel like we are being understood when we express ourselves.
9 steps to living a shame free life
• Realize there is more to God than demands and rules.
• Do not hold on to the past too tightly.
• Anything that focuses on a person instead of a behavior can bring us to shame.
• If you are feeling shame, tell someone how you feel.
• Get involved in a Bible Study and get into the word.
• Get out of yourself and into other people.
• With children, connect before you connect.
• Shame is not a sign of spiritual weakness, but it does deplete our spiritual strength.
• You past can end 1 second ago.