Justified and unjustified anger

[shadowlou]

A man once told of a prayer he used often: "Give me a sense of humor, Lord, the grace to see a joke. To get some fun in life, and pass it on to other folk."
That sounds like a good request, but is that how we should pray? Can we expect God to give us a sense of humor, an appreciation for beauty, a kind generous heart, or a love for our fellow man? We humans are left with the ability to make choices and to have free moral agency. God expects us to make the choices that would lead to the development of a sense of humor, appreciation for music or beauty.



We know that God did give us humor as we are made in his image. But what about anger? That too was an emotion that the Lord bestowed on us. However, knowing justified/righteous anger from unjustified anger is extremely important. I asked the Lord what to do this study on, and he lead me to this.

What’s the difference between anger, hostility, and aggression? When a man is angry with someone, he experiences a momentary feeling of displeasure toward that person. Ideally the anger alerts him to a problem that he moves to resolve immediately. Anger handled in this way is well within bounds. Hostility is unresolved anger that becomes a desire to hurt, punish, or gain vengeance; and aggression is hostility escalated into action. Deal with your anger before it escalates to hostility or aggression.

Domestic violence has become a widespread problem largely because deep-seated anger has fermented into hostility and spilled over into aggression. David Augsburger writes, “Explosive anger is powerless to effect change in relationships. It dissipates (decreases) needed energies, stimulates increased negative feelings, irritates the other persons in the transaction and offers nothing but momentary discharge. Vented anger may ventilate feelings and provide instant though temporary release for tortured emotions, but it does little for relationships.”

Identify and address that which produces your anger. If the other person involved makes that impossible, exhibit self-control and remove yourself from the situation. Hostility and aggression only compound problems!


Righteous Anger
Righteous anger flows from issues such as being sinned against, experiencing injustice, a righteous jealousy, or when God is being mocked. When Jesus chased the money changers out of the temple (John 2:12-16) He was driven by a righteous anger. The money changers were mocking God by turning God’s house into a den of robbers. In John 2:17, as the disciples pondered the motive behind Jesus’ anger we read, “Zeal for Your house will consume Me.” Jesus’ anger flowed from a righteous anger and His respect for God’s place of worship, God’s integrity and His character.
An example closer to home is if you were maliciously and falsely accused of doing some wrong and your character was publicly maligned (spoken untruths about). In this case, it would not be sinful to experience the God-given emotion of anger as you were publicly humiliated, shamed and alienated for an offense that you were innocent of committing. In this instance you have been wrongly sinned against by others. our perception of what the other person did could be way off as well as we could be using second or third hand information and using that as truth.
The person who is so upset at me, thinks I did things I never did. I have falsely thought people did something wrong when in fact that was not true. For example: Someone forgets an appointment we made, I could think they did it on purpose, they don't like me, I don't matter etc. I could then go tell others you know what so and so did? While it is true they did not keep the appointment, I do NOT know why: (They could have had a flat tire, their child could have gotten suddenly ill. etc.).


Unrighteous Anger
Unrighteous anger flows from issues such as pride, selfishness, fear and anxiety, unrighteous jealousy, and unmet, self-centered expectations. We see an example of unrighteous anger in the life of King Saul. When the people of Israel were publicly praising David for his military conquests and were downplaying Saul’s accomplishments we read of Saul, “Saul was very angry; this refrain galled him. ‘They have credited David with tens of thousands,’ he thought, ‘but me with only thousands. What more can he get but the kingdom?’ And from that time on Saul kept a jealous eye on David.” (I Samuel 18:8-9). Saul’s anger stemmed from his own pride, jealousy, and self-protection. Later we read how Saul even made numerous attempts on David’s life as a result of his fear, pride and jealously.
An example closer to home is if someone was to give you some gracious and honest feedback on some personal growth areas, and you became defensive and angry and lashed out at that individual. In this instance your anger is stemming from pride, self-preservation and an unwillingness to look honestly at yourself or appear weak.


IS it Ever Right to Be Angry at God?


I learned recently that when a person uses the words, "Is it right to be angry at God?" he may be asking a very different question. He may be asking, "Is it right to express anger at God?" These are not the same question, and the answer is not always the same.

The question usually arises in times of great suffering and loss. Disease threatens to undo all your dreams. Death takes a precious child from your family. Utterly unexpected desertion and divorce shake the foundations of your world. At these times people can become very angry, even at God.

Is this right? To answer this question we might, perhaps, ask the angry person, Is it always right to get angry at God? In other words, can a person get angry at God for every reason, and still be right? Was it right, for example, for Jonah to be angry at God's mercy on Nineveh? "God relented of the disaster that he had said he would do to them, and he did not do it. But it displeased Jonah exceedingly, and he was angry" (Jonah 3:10-4:1). I assume the answer would be, No. We should not get angry at God for just any reason.

But then we would ask: Which deeds of God is it right to get angry with, and which is it not? Now this is harder to answer. The truth begins to close in on the angry heart.

What about the things that displease us? Are these the acts of God that are good to be angry at? Is it the acts of God that hurt us? "I kill and I make alive; I wound and I heal; and there is none that can deliver out of my hand" (Deuteronomy 32:39). Are these the acts that justify us in directing our anger at God? Or is it his choice to permit the devil to harass and torture us? "The LORD said to Satan, 'Behold, [Job] is in your hand; only spare his life.' So Satan went out from the presence of the LORD and struck Job with loathsome sores from the sole of his foot to the crown of his head" (Job 2:6-7). Does the decision of God to permit Satan to hurt us and our children justify our anger at him?

Or come at it from the other side. What is anger? The common definition is: "An intense emotional state induced by displeasure" (Merriam-Webster). But there is an ambiguity (unclear) in this definition. You can be "displeased" by a thing or by a person. Anger at a thing does not contain indignation at a choice or an act. We simply don't like the effect of the thing: the broken clutch, or the grain of sand that just blew in our eye, or rain on our picnic. But when we get angry at a person, we are displeased with a choice they made and an act they performed. Anger at a person always implies strong disapproval. If you are angry at me, you think I have done something I should not have done.

This is why being angry at God is never right. It is wrong - always wrong - to disapprove of God for what he does and permits. "Shall not the Judge of all the earth do what is just?" (Genesis 18:25). It is arrogant for finite (having limitations), sinful creatures to disapprove of God for what he does and permits. We may weep over the pain. We may be angry at sin and Satan. But God does only what is right. "Yes, O Lord God, the Almighty, true and righteous are Your judgments" (Revelation 16:7).

But many who say it is right to be angry with God really mean it is right to EXPRESS anger at God. When they hear me say it is wrong to be angry with God, they think I mean "stuff your feelings and be a hypocrite." That's not what I mean. I mean it is always wrong to disapprove of God in any of his judgments.

But if we do experience the sinful emotion of anger at God, what then? Shall we add the sin of hypocrisy (pretending to have moral or religious beliefs) to the sin of anger? No. If we feel it, we should confess it to God. He knows it anyway. He sees our hearts. If anger at God is in our heart, we may as well tell him so, and then tell him we are sorry, and ask him to help us put it away by faith in his goodness and wisdom.

In this day and age we know that God forgives but society doesn't. Forgiveness of those that offend us is very important even when they have hurt us very deeply. We must give this hurt/anger over to the Lord and ask the Lord for forgiveness as well.

When Jesus died on the cross for our sins, he removed forever the wrath of God from our lives. God's disposition to us now is entirely mercy, even when severe and disciplinary (Romans 8:1). Therefore, doubly shall those in Christ turn away from the terrible specter of anger at God. We may cry, in agony, "My God, My God, where are you?" But we will follow soon with, "Into your hands I commit my spirit."

Humbled under the mighty and merciful Hand of the Lord.


On closing note: “Anger makes you smaller, while forgiveness forces you to grow beyond what you were.” – Cherie Carter-Scott