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“Questions and Answers, Part XX” by Romans
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IcC1Bp13n_4
Good evening, everyone, and welcome. Tonight we are continuing in our Series, “Question and Answers.” This is our 20th Installment. We are still going through the Book of Proverbs, and we will conclude that Book by reviewing and examining a single question, introduced in Verse 1, and asked Verse 10 of Proverbs 31: “The words of king Lemuel, the prophecy that his mother taught him... 10 Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.” The rest of the proverb fills in detailed facets of answers to that question, but because the various commentaries I will cite both list and expound on those facets, I will, in the interest of space and time, allow just the Commentaries to list them.
If you're reading this Post in the Forum, just hold your cursor over the listed verse, and it will appear.
The Preacher's Homiletical writes, Proverbs 31:10. Virtuous. Literally “a woman of power.” Rubies, rather “pearls.” This picture of a faithful and kindly wife, mother, and mistress is here placed before the youthful monarch as the ideal woman whom he is to seek with all diligence, because she is well worth any pains to secure, and with much discrimination, because she is a rarity, and because there are many imitations of the real gem which look very much like it before they are tested.
This beautiful picture is held to his view as the master holds some grand conception on canvas before his pupil, in order that he may acquire a distaste for all that comes short of it. This portrait may have been drawn by the mother of Lemuel; in any case we may safely conclude that she was such a woman herself, and if it came from another hand it is, probably, her likeness drawn from life. We notice—
I. The prominent features of her character. 1. Her energy. There seems to be within her a spring of unfailing activity, and the completion of one task is immediately followed by the beginning of another. In her home she is astir before the dawn, and when her domestic duties are completed she gives her mind to the transaction of business without—to the best market in which to sell her goods, and to buy all that she needs for the supply of her household —she must have been physically healthy and strong, and we may give her credit for having been observant of the laws of God in this respect as in higher matters, and be sure that she avoided whatever might weaken her body or deaden her intellect. This being the case, her constant activity would be a pleasure, and would in itself contribute to the maintenance of her bodily strength.
2. Her capability. She was not only a great worker, but there was wisdom behind the work—a brain directing the hands. There are many people always busy, who yet accomplish but little, because their activity is not wisely directed—indeed, energetic action without wisdom to guide it, may be most disastrous in its effects. There is an abundance of power in the locomotive, but if it is set in motion and left free from wise control, it works ill instead of good. But this woman’s intellectual capacity equalled her active energy.
She was a good judge of the merchandise that she had to sell, and knew the value of the land that she bought. She was methodical, and so able to arrange the employments of all the household so that no confusion should arise, and she could also show them with her own hands how to perform their work, for “she layeth her hands to the spindle,” and so follows up her precept by example. Her capacity also manifested itself in her forethought—in keeping her supply well ahead of her demand.
3. Her loving tenderness. She might have been all that we have thus far painted her, and yet not have made a happy home. If she had been nothing more she might have been feared, and in some measure respected, but she would not have been loved. Just as energy may be dangerous without wisdom to guide it, so such capable energy may be repellent without love to soften it. But her uncommon endowments and attainments did not make her impatient with her inferiors, and she was not so absorbed in providing for those at home as to forget the poor outside. Her commands were given in a winning tone, and her corrections in a loving spirit. She was more apt to instruct than to reprove, and doubtless acted upon the principle that the “way to make people better is to make the best of them.”
II. The root of all these excellencies. Although it is not absolutely stated, it is implied that godliness was the source of this symmetrical character—that it was the fear of the Lord which enabled her to keep so even a balance of virtues as to stand forth a perfect pattern to the women of every age and nation. The fear of God had given her a right conception of her duties towards all mankind, and especially of the sacred nature of her relationships as wife and mother. She fully entered into the Divine idea of marriage, and this made her the true helpmeet of her husband, and in regard to each son and daughter she heard the voice of her God saying, “Take this child and nurse it for me.”
She knew that faithfulness in all things was expected of a servant of God, and that true godliness consists not so much in the things done as in the spirit in which they are performed. In the spirit of George Herbert she could say, “Teach me, my God and King, In all things Thee to see; And what I do in anything, To do it as for Thee. All may of Thee partake; Nothing can be so mean, Which with this tincture (for Thy sake), Will not grow bright and clean.”
This is the famous stone that turneth all to gold; For that which God doth touch and own cannot for less be told.”
And thus living every day and always in conscious fellowship with the Unseen, she would be too conscious of her own shortcomings to be anything but tender towards the failings of others, and would not forget that she owed all her success in life to the blessing of the Lord, and held all her material good in stewardship for His service.
III. The blessed results of all. She had an abundant and lasting reward. Her husband’s trust in her was undimmed by a single shadow; whatever position she was called upon to sustain he felt fully confident that she was equal to it, and that everything that he possessed—from his reputation to his purse—was not only safe in her hands, but had increased in worth through his connection with her. Her words of loving counsel, and her useful and benevolent life, were not lost upon her children, but as good seed sown in good ground brought forth an abundant harvest in their filial reverence and noble deeds. And this family blessedness was not a thing that could be hid, but, like a candle of the Lord in a world of much moral darkness, it shed its light all around, and blessed and stimulated others to fear God, and so to serve their generation.
Proverbs 31:22. It is precisely such a woman who should wear such garments. The silk hangs all the more gracefully on her person that it was wound and spun by her own hands … This woman is not limited to silk and purple; strength and honour are her clothing too. She may safely wear elegant garments, who in character and bearing is elegant without their aid. If honour be your clothing, the suit will last a life-time, but if clothing be your honour, it will soon be worn threadbare.—Arnot.
Proverbs 31:26. There be many false keys which open the mouths of many, as rashness... pride, folly, and the like. But there is one right key, and that is wisdom. That it is which makes a virtuous woman courteous to all, a flatterer to none, a tale-bearer to none: that it is which maketh her to be familiar with a few, to be just and true with every one: that it is which maketh her respectful to her husband, lovingly grave to her children, dutiful to her superiors, affable with her equals, friendly to her neighbours, and not disdainful to her inferiors: that it is which maketh her slow to speak, quiet in speaking, profitable by speaking.—Jermin.
Alexander MacClaren writes of this: “This description of a good ‘house-mother’ attests the honourable position of woman in Israel. It would have been impossible in Eastern countries, where she was regarded only as a plaything and a better sort of slave... Her kingdom is the home. Her works ‘praise her in the gates.' There is no sentiment or light of wedded love in the picture. It is neither the ideal woman nor wife that is painted, but the ideal head of a household, on whose management, as much as on her husband’s work, its well-being depends.
There is plenty of room for modern ideals by the side of this old one, but they are very incomplete without it. If we take the ‘oracle which his mother taught’ King Lemuel to include this picture, the artist is a woman, and her motive may be to sketch the sort of wife her son should choose. In any case, it is significant that the book which began with the magnificent picture of Wisdom as a fair woman, and hung beside it the ugly likeness of Folly, should end with this charming portrait. It is an acrostic, (a poem where each verse begins with the letters of the alphabet in order).
The rendering ‘virtuous’ is unsatisfactory; for what is meant is not moral excellence, either in the wider sense or in the narrower to which, in reference to woman, that great word has been unfortunately narrowed. Our colloquialism ‘a woman of faculty’ would fairly convey the idea, which is that of ability and general capacity. We have said that there was no light of wedded love in the picture. That is true of the main body of it; but no deeper, terser expression of the inmost blessedness of happy marriage was ever spoken than in the quiet words, ‘The heart of her husband trusteth in her,’ with the repose of satisfaction, with the tranquillity of perfect assurance.
The bond uniting husband and wife in a true marriage is not unlike that uniting us with God. Happy are they who by their trust in one another and the peaceful joys which it brings are led to united trust in a yet deeper love, mirrored to them in their own! True, the picture here is mainly that of confidence that the wife is no squanderer of her husband’s goods, but the sweet thought goes far beyond the immediate application. A true wife is a fountain of good, and good only, all the days of her life, and beyond them too, when her remembrance shines like the calm west after a cloudless sunset. This being, as it were, the overture, next follows the main body of the piece.
It starts with a description of diligence in a comparatively humble sphere. Note that in Proverbs 31:13 the woman is working alone. She toils ‘willingly,’ or, as the literal rendering is, ‘with the pleasure of her hands.’ There is no profit in unwilling work. Love makes toil delightful, and delighted toil is successful. Throughout its pages the Bible reverences diligence. It is the condition of prosperity in material and spiritual things. Vainly do men and women try to dodge the law which makes the ‘sweat of the brow’ the indispensable requisite for ‘eating bread.’ The foundation of this good woman’s fortune was that she worked with a will. There is no other foundation, either for fortune or any other good, or for self-respect, or for progress in knowledge or goodness or religion.
Then her horizon widened, and she saw a way of increasing her store. ‘She is like the merchants’ ships; she bringeth her food from afar.’ She looks afield, and sees opportunities for profitable exchange. Promptly she avails herself of these, and is at work while it is yet dark. She has a household now, and does not neglect their comfort, any more than she does their employment. Their food and their tasks are both set them in the early morning, and their mistress is up as soon as they. Her toil brings in wealth, and so Proverbs 31:16 shows another step in advance. ‘She considereth a field, and buyeth it,’ and has made money enough to stock it with vines, and so add a new source of revenue, and acquire a new position as owning land.
But prosperity does not make her relax her efforts so we are told again in Proverbs 31:17-19 of her abridging the hours of sleep, and toiling with wool and flax. Encouraged by success, she ‘girdeth her loins with strength,’ and, since she sees that ‘her merchandise is profitable,’ she is the more induced to labour. She still works with her own hands (Proverbs 31:19). But the hands that are busy with distaff and spindle are also stretched out with alms in the open palm, and are extended in readiness to help the needy. A woman made unfeeling by wealth is a monster.
Prosperity often leads men to stingy charitable gifts; but if it does the same for a woman, it is doubly cursed. Pity
and charity have their home in women’s hearts. If they are so busy holding the pen that they become hard and insensible to the cry of misery, they have lost their glory.
Then follow a series of verses describing how increased wealth brings good to her household and herself. The advantages are of a purely material sort, Her children are ‘clothed with scarlet,’ which was not only the name of the dye, but of the stuff. Evidently thick material only was dyed of that hue, and so was fit for winter clothing, even if the weather was so severe for Israel that snow fell. Her house was furnished with ‘carpets,’ or rather ‘cushions’ or ‘pillows,’ which are more important pieces of furniture where people recline on divans than where they sit on chairs.
Her own costume is that of a rich woman. ‘Purple and fine linen’ are tokens of wealth, and she is woman enough to like to wear these. There is nothing unbecoming in assuming the style of living appropriate to one’s position. Her children and herself thus share in the advantages of her industry; and the husband, who does not appear to have much business of his own, gets his share in that he sits among the wealthy and honoured inhabitants of the town, ‘in the gates,’ the chief place of meeting for business and gossip.
Proverbs 31:24 addresses the subject of the woman’s diligence. She has got into a ‘shipping business,’ making for the export trade with the ‘merchants’- literally, ‘Phoenicians, the great traders of the East, from whom, no doubt, she got the ‘purple’ of her clothing in exchange for her manufacture. But she had a better dress than any woven in looms or bought with goods. ‘Strength and dignity’ clothe her. ‘She laugheth at the time to come’; that is, she is able to look forward without dread of poverty, because she has realised a competent sum. Such looking forward may be like that of the rich man in the parable, a piece of presumption, but it may also be compatible with devout recognition of God’s providence.
A glimpse into ‘the very pulse’ of the woman’s nature is given. A true woman’s strength is always gentle, and her dignity attractive and gracious. Prosperity has not turned her head. ‘Wisdom,’ the deep music of whose call we heard sounding in the earlier chapters of Proverbs, dwells with this very practical woman. The collocation points the lesson that heavenly Wisdom has a field for its display in the common duties of a busy life, does not dwell in cloisters, but may guide and inspire a careful housekeeper in her task of wisely keeping her husband’s goods together.
But the ideal woman has not only wisdom in act and word, but ‘the law of kindness is on her tongue.’ Prosperity should not rob her of her gracious demeanour. Her words should be glowing with the calm flame of love which stoops to lowly and undeserving objects. If wealth leads to presumptuous reckoning on the future, and because we have ‘much goods laid up for many years,’ we see no other use of leisure than to eat and drink and be merry, we fatally mistake our happiness and our duty. But if gentle compassion and helpfulness are on our lips and in our hearts and deeds, prosperity will be blessed.
The epilogue in Proverbs 31:30-31 is not the continuation of the husband’s speech. It at once points the lesson from the whole picture for King Lemuel, and unveils the root of the excellences described. Beauty is skin deep. Let young men look deeper than a fair face. Let young women seek for that beauty which does not fade. The fear of the Lord lies at the bottom of all goodness that will last through the tear and wear of wedded life, and of all domestic diligence which is not mere sordid selfishness or slavish toil.
The narrow arena of domestic life affords a fit theatre for the exercise of the highest gifts and graces; and the woman who has made a home bright, and has won and kept a husband’s love and children’s reverence, may let who will grasp at the more conspicuous prizes which women are so eager after nowadays. She has chosen the better part, which shall not be taken from her. She shall receive ‘of the fruit of her hands’ both now and hereafter, if the fear of the Lord has been the root from which that fruit has grown; and ‘her works shall praise her in the gate,’ though she sits quietly in her home.
The whole passage is the hallowing of domestic life, a directory for wives and mothers, a beautiful ideal of how noble a thing a busy mother’s life may be, an exhibition to young men of what they should seek, and of young women of what they should aim at. It were well for the next generation if the young women of this one would cultivate qualities which would keep love in the home as to cultivate attractions which lure him to their feet.”
Matthew Henry writes, “This description of the virtuous woman is designed to show what wives the women should make and what wives the men should choose; it consists of twenty-two verses, each beginning with a letter of the Hebrew alphabet in order, as some of the Psalms, which makes some think it was no part of the lesson which Lemuel's mother taught him, but a poem by itself, written by some other hand, and perhaps had been commonly repeated among the pious Jews, for the ease of which it was made alphabetical.
1. A general enquiry after such a one (our only question in Proverbs 31:10), where observe, 1. The person enquired after, and that is a virtuous woman - a woman of strength (so the word is), though the weaker vessel, yet made strong by wisdom and grace, and the fear of God: it is the same word that is used in the character of good judges (as we read in Exodus 18:21), that they are able men, men qualified for the business to which they are called, men of truth, fearing God. So it follows, A virtuous woman is a woman of spirit, who has the command of her own spirit and knows how to manage other people's, one that is pious and industrious. A virtuous woman is a woman of resolution, who, having espoused good principles, is firm and steady to them, and will not be frightened with winds and clouds from any part of her duty.
2. The difficulty of meeting with such a one: Who can find her? This intimates that good women are very scarce, and many that seem to be so do not prove so; he that thought he had found a virtuous woman was deceived; Behold, it was Leah, and not the Rachel he expected. But he that designs to marry ought to seek diligently for such a one, to have this principally in his eye, in all his enquiries, and to take heed that he be not biassed by beauty or gaiety, wealth or parentage, dressing well or dancing well; for all these may be and yet the woman not be virtuous, and there is many a woman truly virtuous who yet is not recommended by these advantages.
3. The unspeakable worth of such a one, and the value which he that has such a wife ought to put upon her, showing it by his thankfulness to God and his kindness and respect to her, whom he must never think he can do too much for. Her price is far above rubies, and all the rich ornaments with which vain women adorn themselves. The more rare such good wives are the more they are to be valued.
II. A particular description of her and of her excellent qualifications. 1. She is very industrious to recommend herself to her husband's esteem and affection. She conducts herself so that he may repose an entire confidence in her. He trusts in her chastity, which she never gave him the least occasion to suspect or to entertain any jealousy of; she is not morose and reserved, but modest and grave, and has all the marks of virtue in her countenance and behaviour; her husband knows it, and therefore his heart doth safely trust in her; he is easy, and makes her so. He trusts in her conduct, that she will speak in all companies, and act in all affairs, with prudence and discretion.
When he goes abroad, to attend the concerns of the public, he can confide in her to order all his affairs at home, as well as if he himself were there. She is a good wife that is fit to be trusted, and he is a good husband that will leave it to such a wife to manage for him. He thinks himself so happy in her that he envies not those who have most of the wealth of this world; he needs it not, he has enough, having such a wife. Happy the couple that have such a satisfaction as this in each other!
2. Though she needs not work for her bread (she has an estate to live upon), yet she will not eat it in idleness, because she knows that we were none of us sent into this world to be idle, that when we have nothing to do the devil will soon find us something to do, and that it is not fit that those who will not labour should eat. Some eat and drink because they can find themselves nothing else to do, and needless visits must be received with fashionable entertainments; these are eating the bread of idleness, which she has no relish for.
3. She rises early, while it is yet night (Proverbs 31:15), to give her servants their breakfast, that they may be ready to go cheerfully about their work as soon as the day breaks. The virtuous woman loves her business better than her ease or her pleasure, is in care to be found in the way of her duty every hour of the day, and has more true satisfaction in having given meat to her household betimes in the morning than those can have in the money they have won, much more in what they have lost, who sat up all night at play. Those that have a family to take care of should not love their bed too well in a morning.
4. She is one that makes what she does to turn to a good account, by her prudent management of it. She does not toil all night and catch nothing; no, she herself perceives that her merchandise is good (Proverbs_31:18); she is sensible that in all her labour there is profit, and that encourages her to go on in it. She perceives that she can make things herself better and cheaper than she can buy them; she finds by observation what branch of her employment brings in the best returns, and to that she applies herself most closely. (1.) She brings in provisions of all things necessary and convenient for her family, Proverbs 31:14.
No merchants' ships, no, not Solomon's navy, ever made a more advantageous return than her employments do. Do they bring in foreign commodities with the effects they export? So does she with the fruit of her labours. What her own ground does not produce she can furnish herself with, if she have occasion for it, by exchanging her own goods for it; and so she brings her food from afar. Not that she values things the more for their being far-fetched, but, if they be ever so far off, if she must have them she knows how to come by them.
She purchases lands, and enlarges the estate of the family (Proverbs 31:16): She considers a field, and buys it. She considers what an advantage it will be to the family and what a good account it will turn to, and therefore she buys it; or, rather, though she have ever so much mind to it she will not buy it till she has first considered it, whether it be worth her money, whether she can afford to take so much money out of her stock as must go to purchase it, whether the title be good, whether the ground will answer the character given of it, and whether she has money at command to pay for it. Many have undone themselves by buying without considering; but those who would make advantageous purchases must consider, and then buy.
1. She also plants a vineyard, but it is with the fruit of her hands; she does not take up money, or run into debt, to do it, but she does it with what she can spare out of the gains of her own industry. She furnishes her house well and has good clothing for herself and her family (Proverbs 31:22): She makes herself coverings of tapestry to hang her rooms, and she may be allowed to use them when they are of her own making. Her own clothing is rich and fine: it is silk and purple. Though she does not make the putting on of apparel her adorning, nor values herself upon it, yet she has rich clothes and puts them on well. The robes which her husband wears are of her own spinning, and they look better and wear better than any that are bought.
2. She needs not fear the cold of the most pinching winter, for she and her family are well provided with clothes, sufficient to keep out cold, which is the end chiefly to be aimed at in clothing: All her household are clothed in scarlet, strong cloth and fit for winter, and yet rich and making a good appearance. They are all double clothed (so some read it), have change of raiment, a winter suit and a summer suit.
3. She trades abroad. She makes more than she and her household have occasion for; and therefore, when she has sufficiently stocked her family, she sells fine linen and girdles to the merchants (Proverbs 31:24), who carry them to Tyre, the mart of the nations, or some other trading city. Those families are likely to thrive that sell more than they buy; as it is well with the kingdom when abundance of its home manufactures are exported. It is no disgrace to those of the best quality to sell what they can spare, nor to deal in trade and send ventures by sea.
4. She takes care of her family and all the affairs of it, gives meat to her household (Proverbs 31:15), to every one his portion of meat in due season, so that none of her servants have reason to complain of being kept short or faring hard. She gives also a portion (an allotment of work, as well as meat) to her maidens; they shall all of them know their business and have their task. She looks well to the ways of her household (Proverbs 31:27); she inspects the manners of all her servants, that she may check what is amiss among them, and oblige them all to behave properly and do their duty to God and one another, as well as to her; as Job, who put away iniquity far from his tabernacle.
5. She is charitable to the poor, Proverbs 31:20. She is as intent upon giving as she is upon getting; she often serves the poor with her own hand, and she does if freely, cheerfully, and very liberally, with an out-stretched hand. Nor does she relieve her poor neighbours only, and those that are nigh at hand, but she reaches forth her hands to the needy that are at a distance, seeking opportunities to do good and to communicate good, as any thing she does.
6. In her tongue is the law of kindness; all she says is under the government of that law. The law of love and kindness is written in the heart, but it shows itself in the tongue; if we are kindly affectioned one to another, it will appear by affectionate expression. It is called a law of kindness, because it gives law to others, to all she converses with. Her wisdom and kindness together put a commanding power into all she says; they command respect, they command compliance. How forcible are right words! In her tongue is the law of grace, or mercy (so some read it), understanding it of the word and law of God, which she delights to talk of among her children and servants. She is full of pious religious discourse, and manages it prudently, which shows how full her heart is of another world even when her hands are most busy about this world.
7. That which completes and crowns her character is that she fears the Lord, Proverbs 31:30. With all those good qualities she lacks not that one thing needful; she is truly pious, and, in all she does, is guided and governed by principles of conscience and a regard to God; this is that which is here preferred far before beauty; that is vain and deceitful; all that are wise and good account it so, and value neither themselves nor others on it. Beauty recommends none to God, nor is it any certain indication of wisdom and goodness, but it has deceived many a man who has made his choice of a wife by it.
III. The happiness of this virtuous woman. 1. She has the comfort and satisfaction of her virtue in her own mind (Proverbs 31:25): Strength and honour are her clothing, in which she wraps herself, that is, enjoys herself, and in which she appears to the world. She enjoys a firmness and constancy of mind, has spirit to bear up under the many crosses and disappointments which even the wise and virtuous must expect to meet with in this world; and this is her clothing, for defence as well as decency.
She deals honourably with all, and she has the pleasure of doing so, and shall rejoice in time to come; she shall reflect upon it with comfort, when she comes to be old, that she was not idle or useless when she was young. In the day of death it will be a pleasure to her to think that she has lived to some good purpose. Nay, she shall rejoice in an eternity to come; she shall be recompensed for her goodness with fulness of joy and pleasures for evermore.
2. She gets the good word of all her neighbours, as Ruth did, whom all the city of her people knew to be a virtuous woman, Ruth 3:11. Virtue will have its praise, Philippians 4:8. A woman that fears the Lord, shall have praise of God (Romans 2:29) and of men too. It is here shown, (1.) That she shall be highly praised (Proverbs 31:29): Many have done virtuously. Virtuous women, it seems, are precious jewels, but not such rare jewels as was represented Proverbs 31:10. There have been many, but such a one as this cannot be paralleled. Who can find her equal? She excels them all.
This concludes this evening's Discussion, “Questions and Answers, Part 20.”
This Discussion was originally presented “live” on February 27th, 2019.